To all the gay people
To all the gay people I know. The time has come. Tomorrow evening I declare War. It is time to assemble the multifarious legions of faggotry. Non-attenders will be treaters as deserters and promptly shot on sight. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I'd tell you more, but War is a tricky thing, and frankly I haven't figured out what we are going to do yet. But nonetheless, you will be expected to attend. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
[This message, which is not a joke, was brought to you, in part, by the campaign to get Tom, Davo and lots of other people drunk, shagged and married off by August. Follow instructions on the packet. Do not boil wash. Attendance by completely hot strangers almost required. More details to come.]
