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God Angrily Clarifies "Don't Kill" Rule...

Posted September 26, 2001 1:58 PM.

The Onion: God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule

Growing increasingly wrathful, God continued: "Can't you people see? What are you, morons? There are a ton of different religious traditions out there, and different cultures worship Me in different ways. But the basic message is always the same: Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Shintoism... every religious belief system under the sun, they all say you're supposed to love your neighbors, folks! It's not that hard a concept to grasp."

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